


I'm Right Here, When Are You Gonna Realize?

by Logicalitys



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Human, Angry Deceit | Janus Sanders, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Break Up, Confessions, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders & Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders Are Twins, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt Deceit | Janus Sanders, Hurt Logic | Logan Sanders, Hurt Morality | Patton Sanders, Insecure Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Logic | Logan Sanders In Love, Logic | Logan Sanders Is A Good Friend, M/M, Minor Dr. Emile Picani/Sleep | Remy Sanders, Morality | Patton Sanders Needs a Hug, Morality | Patton Sanders Swears, Morality | Patton Sanders-centric, Paranoid Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Post-Break Up, Sad Morality | Patton Sanders, Therapist Dr. Emile Picani, Worried Logic | Logan Sanders, light fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-28
Updated: 2020-11-28
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:20:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,323
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27756013
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Logicalitys/pseuds/Logicalitys
Summary: "I’ll always be here for you, Patton," Then I’ll sit next to you forever, but not for a second longer. ”I love you.“ He and Patton always said they loved one another, never did Logan mean it in the way Patton meant it. Patton smiled up at him as tears fell down his cheeks.
Relationships: Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders & Deceit | Janus Sanders, Logic | Logan Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders, Past Anxiety | VIrgil Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders, Past Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders, Past Deceit | Janus Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders - Relationship
Comments: 1
Kudos: 12





	I'm Right Here, When Are You Gonna Realize?

‘hey <3 just wanted to check up on you and make sure you’re doing good!’ Patton stared at his screen, at the notification, his anxiety shot through the roof. It was just a simple text but it meant so much more to him than that. Janus broke off their relationship in a promise that it’d only be temporary and how Patton will forever be his baby. Janus, big shock, lied. Janus begged Patton not to block him and remove him from his life forever because Janus still loved the man. Something Patton learned was that he would never be good enough for anyone as just a mere three days later Janus was posting about how he wanted a boyfriend or a girlfriend, and posting things that Patton would’ve done for him if he had just fucking told him to. Patton would have done anything for Janus, and he fucking went through hell and back for that liar. So the text, he received, was beyond horrifying. He wasn’t sure whether Janus even cared or not. 

He should’ve just left the message alone, although, the false hope that Janus would come back disappeared after this conversation. His stomach was in knots as he just stared at the message. Why was he fucking doing this to him? Logan opened the door to his bedroom, as he and Patton were having a sleepover to make the boy feel better. It’s only been three weeks since Janus ripped Patton’s heart out of his chest. It’s not like he hasn’t done it before. Patton had to beg for attention, had to beg for him to be loved, to be shown off, all well Remus was busy getting all these things from his own fucking boyfriend. He was called delusional for being angry with Remus thinking there was something going on, six months later he’d have his answer that he was in fact right. 

“Patton?” Patton looked up from his phone, from the horrific text message, and up at his amazing best friend who stood there two cups of hot chocolate in his hands. He set them down quickly he rushed to Patton, “What happened?” He wiped off Patton’s tears with his sleeve, Patton didn’t even realize he had been crying until Logan was drying his tears. Patton just turned on his phone, the notification still sitting there, Logan’s frown deepened. 

“Should… I answer?" 

Logan’s head was screaming no, everything about this situation seemed like a bad idea not only because of his own selfish reasonings but just because he knew how Janus was when it came to Patton. "If you believe you should, yes.” Patton nodded, he decided on doing so. 

'hi. i’m fine.’

Almost immediately a text followed 'i’m sorry for bothering you.’

'You didn’t well… you do bother me just not now’. It was a complete lie, he looked up at Logan. 

'oh… well i’m only coming to check on you to be nice and civil it’s kinda weird to have you on my page on not text’. That single message tore Patton’s heart out of his chest again. Almost as if Janus enjoyed hurting Patton, his eyes stared at the screen until it went black. “Not because you don't fucking care about me.” He whispered bitterly to himself. 

“Are you-" 

"He said he’s only checking up on me just to be nice… Not because he cared. I shouldn’t be shocked I shouldn’t be mad, because he’s always made it clear about how much he cared about me, which wasn’t a lot,” Patton was rambling as to not cry harder than he ever has. He sent back what he thought 'not because you care about me. gee thanks.’

'I do care that falls under being nice.’ Patton let out a bitter and angry chuckle when he read that message. “That liar.” He hissed, Logan could see the screen he understood what was happening. Poor Patton was all he could think of. Patton has been screamed at, insulted, made feel like he isn’t deserving of love, all that hands of this awful person. For no other reason than just because. He remembers one time, Janus and Patton were fighting and Janus had just screamed at him about how delusional and stupid he was for even thinking he had a thing for Remus. He hadn’t spent any time with Patton but he spent all the time in the world with Remus. 

'No it doesn’t, Janus there’s a reason why you said the only reason. Don’t fucking backtrack.’ He couldn’t believe Janus had told him only a month earlier 'if you loved me you’d forgive me’. If he loved him?! IF PATTON LOVED JANUS? As if there was any fucking question because even when Janus sat there spewing these mean things to him he stayed. Even when Janus was going through a really hard time, things were difficult and Patton got addicted to Adderall, he fucking stayed. He stayed when felt like he lost himself, he stayed despite but Janus could never stay the same. It was always about making him feel better but god fucking forbid Patton was upset he’d find a way to make it about himself. “Hey, Patton,” Patton looked up after five minutes of just staring at the screen, he was left on read. “It’ll be okay.” Logan said softly.

“I just don’t get why he didn’t love me, I made it so easy this time.” Patton started to cry, his chest physically hurt. He wanted nothing more than to scream at Janus for wasting his time, he wanted nothing more than to scream at the three people who ruined his life three separate times and never apologized. None of them ever felt fucking sorry for hurting Patton so badly to the point he felt like he was embarrassing, he shut down a lot of tendencies because they were embarrassed by him. He was nothing but an embarrassing, cry-baby, crazy, fucking loser and that’s all they’d ever see him as. That’s all they ever saw him as. Sometimes you do the right thing and it doesn’t work out but it doesn’t make what you did any less of a good thing, but in Patton’s eyes, that wasn’t true. He was doing the right thing he was sure of it, he tried to help each of them with their own issues, and as soon as they got better as soon as Patton had helped them heal and cope with their issues. They got up and left. Never not once was given the same treatment, never did he get the care he so desperately craves. 

He remembers one time someone had told him, it wasn’t his job to save Patton from him. At that time, that was about Virgil, but he didn’t understand what that meant. Why not? Why couldn’t they just be good fucking people? “They may not love you, but I do, Patton.” Logan gave a small smile, “And so do lots of other people. The things he did to you does not define who you are, what they said about you is far from the truth," 

That night Logan and Patton watched movies, went to the store to go and buy snacks, and drank hot cocoa until Patton fell asleep. Patton was laying on Logan’s lap, his long bony fingers running through the blonde curls. "I’m so sorry they did this to you.” He sighed, “I love you, more than you think,” He leaned down and kissed the boy's forehead, “I think… I’ll love you forever and that’s the scariest part.” His voice was barely above a whisper, and even though he thought Patton was asleep, he wasn’t aware that he was talking to someone who was fully aware of what he was saying. Patton had woke up when he felt Logan’s hands run through his hair. Patton pretended as though he had been asleep, he wouldn’t speak of it unless Logan actually wanted to.

**Author's Note:**

> (inspired by steupts on instagram, this is rlly just a vent, fuck the three ppl i fell in love w/ i hate yall bitches)  
> my tumblr is: logicality-s, my Instagram: logicalitys


End file.
